A picture is worth a thousand memories....

Last night I received an e-mail from Adrienne. She sent out a video to a group of friends and family members of her new condo. She did a walk through showing everyone her new place now that it has been repainted and decorated. I must admit she did a great job with the walk through, giving a great virtual tour of her new digs (she's got a steady hand for sure. The video wasn't jumpy at all).

It was interesting to see the place with all of her belongings. I recognized a piece of furniture here and there but what struck me most were paintings on the walla. Three of them brought back strong memories for I had brought them into our home. It was an interesting tie back to the past and as I looked at the items I realized they really were a representation of me or at least represented a lot to me.

The first was a painting of a terrace in what would look like Greece or a tropical local. The point of view for the picture is through the archway of a red door that is opening onto the terrace with a view of the ocean in the distance. I remember liking something about the photo but at the time I didn't realize that I had a thing for archways and doorways. As I think of subsequent photos I took (specifically in Mexico and Italy) I realize that I have a fascination with those types of views and structures. There is something fascinating both artistically and philosophically ~ what do open doors and windows represent? I guess depending on who is looking at it or when I am looking at it, the view can be seen as a door closing vs. opening.

The second picture was of a large poster/photo in a black frame of a deserted tropical isle with a big palm tree in the forefront. The water is crystal blue and the sand looks like powdered sugar. I remember that scene as being extremely tranquil and I had it hanging in the bedroom (it's in her bedroom in the new place as well).

The third wall covering is a huge photo of NY City at night. It's really cool. It covers three quarters of a wall, that's how big it is. If you look up close there are some florescent paints over windows and such. The photo used to hang in a local bar in NY. It had a black light over it and when lit the photo looked like the skyline at night. It was way cool in a totally 80s kind of way. It still looks cool without the black light effect.

I had loved the picture and when my brother in law was courting my sister he saved it from the bar that they were tearing down and gave it to her to give to me. He scored major points with both of us for that. I had completely forgotten about that picture and was definitely flooded with memories when I saw it on the video.

It makes me wonder how many memories Adrienne has attached to these pictures. I'm sure they had a bigger effect on me because I am seeing them for the first time in forever, but does she also hold on to these pictures for more reasons than just meet the eye?

It's fascinating to me how ordinary objects and pictures can carry so many memories, feelings, and stories with them and how we surround ourselves with the history that these items keep stored for us.

From Sex...To Drugs...next, Rock 'n Roll....

I just need to say, "God bless the DVD player". I put away my last black mourning outfit (out of respect to Sex and the City) and I've moved on to my next series...WEEDS!! Another quality show and I'm so glad that season 2 just came out on DVD. I've started to watch season 1 again so that I can refresh my memory. It's great to have some quality TV to watch if I'm in the mood for mindless entertainment. I can't take live TV anymore. To start, there is nothing on, and when there is something, it's a tabloid show talking about Lindsay, Paris, Nicole....and any other tragic starlet who is having a bad week.

I was in the kitchen last night and the TV was on in the background. It was ET or Extra or one of those shows and they talked incessantly about inconsequential Hollywood things. That was taxing, but then that show ended and the next started and it covered all of the same information just repackaged with a new host and spin on the story. I literally had to stop what I was doing and go turn off the TV. The noise of continuous talking without saying anything was driving me crazy. Literally!! I'm scared about what is happening to our culture, we are just bombarded constantly with such junk ~ and the scary thing is we are becoming immune to it.

So anyway, all that to say that I am very happy to have Weeds to watch if I need a TV fix. It's funny because I went to purchase season 2 a few weeks ago and it wasn't on sale at Target, so when Daniel called to ask if I needed anything at Walmart, I asked him to check and see if it was on sale there. When he got home he informed me that they don't sell that show at Walmart. That just cracks me up. They won't sell a TV series that has drugs involved in it, yet they'll sell as many firearms as you would like. Gotta love it!! I could almost understand if they were completely against everything...porn, alcohol, drugs, weapons, and all those "anti-Christian" items, but when they start to pick and choose, it becomes hypocritical to me. So I have to say, no more Wal-mart for me (or for Daniel, sorry Daniel). I will have to purchase my firearms elsewhere. I should have asked Daniel if they were having a sale on the "Save our Kids" t-shirts :o

Okay, i feel like I'm on a total rant here...who's next....hmmmm...just teasing. I'm actually in a good mood today. It started when I went to he gym this morning. I finished my run on the treadmill and just felt really good. Some mornings it can be exhausting, but this morning it was invigorating.

After that I decided to stop at 7-11 for coffee....on a side note, I always feel like I'm second class because truth be told, I would take a cup of 7-11 flavored coffee over Starbucks any day. When I went in to get my coffee I was very excited because they had blueberry flavor. Yes, it sounds horrible, but it is quite good. As I poured my cup I literally started laughing at myself and the fact that I was truly happy about the coffee selection. It made me realize that it is the little things in life that can bring you joy. I mean, talk about low standards, a cup of flavored coffee was all I needed to start my day off on the right note....I guess they came up with slogan "oh thank Heaven for 7-11" for a reason :)

I want some Sex....

and the City that is :( I finished going through the series again, I must admit, I'm going to miss those girls. I even watched the extra bonus disc that included interviews, montages from the show, and various other tidbits of information.

I have to say, I love everything about this show. It is so well crafted in every aspect. The acting, writing, character development ~ it has everything.

I would have to say the only other comedy that I remember feeling such affinity for was The Mary Tyler Moore show. It makes me realize what a special thing it is when all the right elements line up to make a show a cultural phenomenon.

I'm sure Daniel will be glad to have a reprieve from the SATC theme music that played over and over between episodes. You may have a break for now, but just remember, my friends Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda will be coming to a theater near you very soon and that will be a BIG deal :)

Double Feature....

It was a double feature weekend. On Saturday night I went out to dinner with Henry, Troy and Norman. It was great to see Henry. It's funny, the last two times I've seen him it's been in Italy, we're so cosmopolitan :)

We went to dinner at a French Restaurant in Kensington. We thought we were going to the Green Tomato....but apparently it has ripened and has been plucked from the vine. We had a good meal and then we went to see Cut Sleeve Boys at the Ken. I really enjoy that movie theater. It's definitely has an old school movie theater motif....and it's cheap so that is always a plus. Cut Sleeve Boys was a crazy movie. It a low budget film with Asian style humor (per Norman and Henry) and it was set in London with British slang and mannerisms as well. It was a bit crazy, but quite enjoyable actually. The one guy dressed up as a self described "tranny" and he looked really pretty as a woman. Norman said he looked like Kristy Yamagucci as a woman (which I agree with). To even try to explain the plot wouldn't translate well but it was enjoyable to say the least.

Today was a busy day. I picked Ralph up and brought him to church since he can't drive. The service was really good ~ although we had to leave a bit early because Ralph wasn't feeling well. After church I went to brunch with Henry, Norman and Mito. We went to Baja Bettys. Cute waiter and decent meal. Actually that is a dangerous bar because with the lighting everyone had an angelic "is he really hot?" glow. With a few margaritas that could spell trouble...

After lunch we went to see Invasion at Fashion Valley. Overall I thought it was a good movie. It was perfect entertainment for a hot summer day when you are trying to escape the heat and reality. Nicole Kidman did a good job in it and the guy who played her husband was cute. As we were leaving, I heard someone say that it was totally unnecessary. I'm assuming they meant because it was a re-interpretation of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". In a way I can understand the comment. The 1978 version was really good (and to be fair, that was also a remake). Did this one add anything to the franchise?, not really, but it was still entertaining and it updated the story a bit. It's a tough call, when a movie is really good there almost isn't a need to remake it. You could watch the 1978 version again today and still be enthralled.

After the movie, Mito left to sin...I mean go to church :) and Norman dropped me off at home. I went over to MT and Tim's house so they could give me the instructions about watching the dog and house next week. I should really get to work at reading that manual ;) They also had a friend named Nathaniel over. He was really cute and really nice (and really straight). We chatted for a bit and had some dinner. Tim walked me through all the steps of feeding the dog and turning on the TV ~ and then I took Monroe for a test walk. I told Tim that I would pass on the opportunity to pick up Monroe's poop until I was actually watching him.

I had a really relaxing weekend, and it felt nice and long. It was just the right combination of plans with friends and down time (although it would have been better if my roommate had been here to share in the good times ~ figured I would throw that out there for you Daniel in case you are reading my blog while away :)

Well, I guess I better turn in for the evening.....although I'm afraid to go to sleep.....

Surfs Up...

Spent a beautiful day at the beach. It was just what I needed. I packed a cooler, brought my book (Dracula), music, a book on meditation (which is very interesting), and the Fall Preview Edition of Entertainment Weekly magazine. Look out Coronado, I was ready for a relaxing day at the beach. Also, the parking Gods were good to me and I found a decent spot, what more could you ask for.

It was really hot so the water felt amazingly refreshing. At one point I came back from the water and I just sat there and savored how lucky I am to live in such an amazing place. I wanted to anchor that amazing feeling and really connect it with all 5 senses. I had the touch of the water on my body and the sand between my toes, the breathtaking site of the beach with a beautiful sailboat off the shore, the sound of laughter and idle chatter and the crashing of the waves, the taste of the salt water, and the smell of the ocean air. It was really cool to consciously take a few minutes and drink in all of those sensations. I stayed at the beach for a few hours and it was perfect, I love days like that.

I had a good Friday night as well. Michael Todd organized an outing to listen to a swing band at an outdoor concert at the Trolley Park in University Heights. We each brought something to share (including wine). Michael Todd brought Monroe with him also (his dog). It was very crowded but we set out blankets and staked our claim on a good area. Este and Scott were also there, which was nice because I haven't seen them in forever. I really like them. Este is one of those people who seems so naturally cool. She was wearing this really cute Audrey Hepburnesque sun dress with her pixie haircut and these over sized black sunglasses. She definitely has the Euro chic thing down (it helps that she's from Spain :) They had a friend named Amy with them and she was really fun as well. Ralph was also there. This was his first outing since the surgery. It was really good to see him. He looks good and says the operation was a success. He brought his Mother, sister and brother in law and his nephew and niece. MT also had some other friends stop by for a bit. We stayed for a few hours (we were among the last to leave, the concert having been over for at least an hour). It was a fun time with good food, friends and spirits.

It was about 9pm when we all headed our separate ways. I went over to Bourbon for a bit. It was early and so I thought I would check it out. It was pretty crowded and wasn't overrun with Lesbians so that was good. Of course I went over to buy my drink and visit with Tyler. He's such a cutie (and Mito, he is MINE! :) ) It's funny, he said something about me being lean and I said yeah but I'm scrappy and I put up my fists. He replied that he liked scrappy and acted as if he was going to box with me. I like that word scrappy.....but I digress.

I ran into Asiah and Erik Swanson and a few of their friends but that was about it. I also ran into this guy named Jack that I had met through Mark when I first moved out here. He approached me and we chatted, I wasn't sure if he would remember me. I always felt like I had a little unfinished business with him.

I had met him at a party with Mark. He was very friendly and I thought he was cute ~ he's probably Mark's age, so he's in his late 40s I would guess. Well nothing happened at the party but I must have mentioned that I worked at the Warner Brothers store in UTC because the next time I went into work, they said a gentleman had been in that morning asking about me and had left a card (greeting card, not business card). It was a sweet card and he asked me out and gave me his number in it. I was touched and thought it was sweet...and never called him!! That was a really weird time for me, I was definitely at an all time low and was just coming to terms with my sexuality and coming out. I totally panicked and so I never called. I always felt bad about that.

He actually mentioned it last night and I got my chance to say sorry and to let him know how sweet I had thought it was and that I thought it was very charming. He seemed happy to hear the effect the card had on me. I felt like I had brought closure to the situation and we had come full circle.

I chatted with him for a while. It turns out he is going through a pretty rough patch right now. He and his partner of 3 years broke up and there is a house involved. I don't know what else is going on but he definitely seemed a bit in turmoil. I felt like our roles were completely reversed from when I met him. It made me realize how much I've evolved over the last 8 years, not better than I was before, just a realization that I have grown in so many ways since this California adventure began.

The Simpsons Movie....

One of the funniest parts of the movie is the entire rant that Homer does in the beginning of the movie ~ posing the question to the audience, "What idiot would go to the movies and pay to see something they can watch on TV for free??" For such a clueless idiot, Homer poses a great question. And that is just part of the Simpson's wit. Go anywhere, make fun of anything and do it all tongue in cheek.

I went to see the movie last night with Daniel and Mito. It wasn't a movie that I was rushing out to see, but my other choice was Harry Potter and I hadn't seen Parts 2 - 28 yet, so I thought the Simpsons was a safer bet.

Was the movie great? no, but it was very entertaining and each of us laughed out loud through out the movie. Could it wait for video, absolutely, and I bummed that I saw it in the movies, not at all.

One thing that I do admire is that these characters have become such a part of our national identity that you feel like they are real. Their personalities are so developed and you can actually care for them...and while they are cartoons, they emote more emotion than a lot of the living plastic in Hollywood.

So cheers to you Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Santa's Little Helper and Spider Pig I enjoyed spending time with you the other night.

Things that go bump in the Night....

and no Michael, I'm not talking about my bed :)
One thing I love to do is to spend time in Barnes & Noble looking through books and killing time. I wandered by some classics the other day ~ and went back to review some of the great titles I remember from childhood or from the reading list in high school (whether I read them or not is another story). To my amazement there it was ~ DRACULA, and it was $6.95. I can thank my Dad for the love of horror movies and books. He was always watching them when I was a child and I had a love/hate fascination with them.

I remember my parents had an old china cabinet in their bedroom. It was painted black and they had converted it to a storage chest. The top portion had reams of books. One of the books was Bram Stoker's Dracula. I can still remember the cover and the smell of the paperback pages. I was always drawn to it and felt the chill when handling the book and at a young age was aware of the mystery that surrounded the story. To be honest, I don't even know if I ever read it in my formative years, but we knew vampire movies in my house, that's for sure. I was always fascinated and yet scared shitless at the same time (that's a literary term for those who don't know).

Anyway, I decided to purchase the book and place it in my stack of "must reads". It didn't stay of the pile long. I decided to forgo the book I was reading and bite into Dracula (hee hee). The time had come to revisit the book and to experience the legend first hand.

On the first evening, I opened the book and all of a sudden I was acutely aware of being alone in the house. Now as I lay in bed with the night light on, the silence is deafening and every noise has a deeper meaning. It's amazing how the mind can play tricks on you and as I opened this book, I unleashed the fears and creepy feelings of a child afraid of things that go bump in the night.

It almost feels like a roller coaster. You are scared and yet you want the feeling to continue and you can't stop yourself from experiencing the exhilarating adventure. I was surprised how quickly the story jumped into the macabre and how our hero Jonathan Harker quickly realizes that there is more than meets the eye with his host. I'm only 75 pages in and yet I am drawn in further, looking for chances to steal away to read a bit more.

To me this is a classic. This spooky story has withstood the test of time and although the movies and romanticism have become part and parcel with the legend, the book is quite different than the that, and yet it is equally as engaging to me.

I write this entry tonight with the hopes this isn't my last blog. Things have been very strange and I'm not sure what my future holds. I only hope that if something should happen to me that this will be proof that something evil is out there and I feel like it's watching me and coveting my every move....oh wait a minute, I think that is probably someone in the chorus...nevermind :() (for those of you not familiar with the book, it's written in the style of journal entries by our protagonist :))

Bourne again...

and again and again. It's the end of a relaxing weekend and Daniel and I just got back from the movies. We went to see The Bourne Ultimatum. I actually stayed in on Friday night and watched The Bourne Identity and then stayed in on Saturday night and watch The Bourne Supremacy. They were all good. I think I liked the first one the best, then three and lastly two ~ although I was pleased with all three of them. Definitely a good combination of action and actual plot. I would call them the thinking man's action movies.

I needed a relaxing weekend after the last few weeks. I felt productive because I washed my car, cleaned the kitchen and did laundry, but I also had a lot of down time in there. I took a walk through Hillcrest yesterday and it was just nice to wander around without an agenda and spend some time by myself.

Today when I was sitting outside in the sun and reading a book I experienced one of the true joys of summer. One I can't remember experiencing for years. I ate the most delicious piece of watermelon right off the rind. It was juicy and messy and the juice ran down my face and hands and I didn't care! It felt like one of those carefree moments from childhood. I realized how neat and orderly I usually am and it felt good to throw all caution to the wind (I'm talking like I did some daredevil act :) and just enjoy the moment and not care about the mess.

I'm feeling a bit sleepy so I'll probably hit the hay soon. Today is the start of another week ~

Simply Steven....

Steven Brinberg was our guest star for this show. To be honest, I'm not a huge Barbra fan, so I wasn't over the moon like some of the boys in the chorus, but I must admit I was extremely impressed with his talent and his down to earth nature.

It's funny because some interesting conversations arose based on our guest star. The day we met Steven, Norman and I were having a conversation about dating someone who does "drag". I must admit, my answer was no (Norman said it wouldn't be a problem for him). I said I would just have a hard time telling my family what my boyfriend did for a living. I wasn't proud of the answer, but it was the truth. This all occurred before I met Steven and had the chance to watch him in action.

During our first rehearsal (pictured above) we had to sit and watch Steven as he did his set. It's funny because Joey loved my "pose" and thought I just looked completely enthralled with Barbra, which is the look he was going for. Truth be told, I was extremely tired and this was a pose that I felt I could rest my head in and still look like I was interested...go figure!!

As Steven rehearsed, I was taken aback by his talent. His range and falsetto are really amazing. I realized how much I enjoyed his voice when he sang in his Neil Diamond manly voice. This guy is definitely gifted. As I looked at him I realized how slight of frame he is and wondered what it was like for him in school. Here is a small Jewish boy who sang and dressed like Barbra Streisand. If that wasn't a recipe for being hung by your underwear in the locker room, I don't know what would be.

That afternoon we had lunch with Steven and got to know him. He was so pleasant and truly a kind person. I think just because he was playing a diva, I was expecting a diva. I was pleasantly surprised.

The next day we had our dress rehearsal. Again we assumed our spots on the stage but this time Steven arrived in all of his Barbra regalia. It's amazing how much taller he looked (and not just from the shoes) when he was dressed like Babs! Not only had he taken on her look, he also embodied her larger than life personality.

This time as I sat and watched (still extremely tired by the way, so of course I assumed my pose) I thought not of his slight frame or how he must of been beaten up, now I sat there in total admiration. Here was a guy who took all of the items that could have been considered liabilities or challenges and he channeled them into a passion ~ and he truly came across as a STAR. Instead of seeing a "drag performer" I saw a consummate professional ~ someone who crafted his raw talents into a fantastic persona. It was truly touching. It made me reconsider my conversation with Norman and second guess my answer.

Would I go out with someone who dresses up as a female entertainer, I'm not sure, but I do know that I wouldn't be able to give a definitive "no way" anymore. It also doesn't seem fair to label him as a drag queen. This was a talented singer and performer who wasn't just lip syncing to one of the classic drag queen tunes.

Now I would need more data, I'd want to know more about the person, were they kind, were they cute without make-up, what was their character. I have to admit though, the person being slight of frame and short in stature would still be a problem for me :)

The Diva by Diva Experience

It's hard to believe it's all over. I mentioned the empty feeling that I had when I wrote my last entry ~ so I figured I would take a minute to capture my favorite parts of this experience before they start to fade from memory...actually come to think of it things are starting to become a blur already :)

I really enjoyed this show and will go as far as to say that it was my favorite. While it was the most work ~ it was also the most rewarding. So here in no particular order are some of the things that I loved about this season....

- As you will see in the pix on the right ~ there were smiles to be had everywhere. Not just during the performance but throughout the season. Now I'm sure there were lots of different meaning and reasons behind the smiles and laughter (and I'm sure some were smirks) but the reasons ranged from...I can't believe we are going to simulate humping on stage (the nervous smile/laugh), the I finally figured out how to do the arm twist in vogue without bruising myself or others (I'm so proud smile), we've sold how many tickets going into tech week? (I'm going to smile so I don't cry if we sing and dance to the sound of crickets in the audience), and the you can go fuck yourself giggle (no explanation needed).

This was definitely the most choreography we've had in a show that I've done. I'm really proud of everyone. People really gave it there all, coming in early, practicing at home and generally keeping up a really great attitude. I loved the Andrews Sisters and the Supremes. Charlie, Yudi and Travis did a great job and Joey did a wonderful job with the choreography. My favorites for choreography that we did were the Cher/Madonna and Donna Summer sets. Although now that I think about it, I really enjoyed Divas of the Stage as well. The set I thought was the hardest to memorize choreography wise was the Divas of Soul. I got it down, but damn, how many times did we turn in that medley.

My actual favorite move was in the show was during the Supremes when we did the windmill move in "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" ~ I think I knocked out a few chorus members when doing that move, I was like, bitches I don't care who's behind me ~ my arms are coming your way...hee hee.

Everyone in the audience seemed to really love the show as well. Derek couldn't even think of a snide comment. I think the audience could tell how much we enjoyed doing it. I can't wait to see the video, it will be funny if it looks like crap after all this raving and patting ourselves on the back.