I'm back!! It's been so long since I've posted an entry. No real good excuse, just busy and sometimes when work is busy and I spend all day answering e-mail, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to hit the keyboard!! This entry is just going to be a data dump of different ideas, events and tidbits that have been going on with me ~ in no particular order (I stole this type of entry from Norman :)
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Sometimes I'm amazed by the simple things that make me happy. I love going to music stores and looking through the CDs. In particular I love going through the used CD racks. Finding a treasure or a Greatest Hits package for your favorite artist who only had one hit can be lots of fun. This week I went to Best Buy out of sheer boredom at work. Thought I would hit the racks and see what was out there. Great way to spend a lunch hour!! I ended up seeing the soundtrack for Across the Universe ~ although it was $13.99. While it is a double CD, I don't know for me I hate to pay anything more than $9.99.....maybe $10.99 for a great one. That will lead me to the second thing that makes me happy....
I broke down and went up to the counter with my $13.99 CD purchase ~ justifying the purchase to myself with the "sometimes you just need to say what the hell!!". To my delight, the cashier rang it up and said "$10.46 please". I'm embarrassed to say, but she could see the look of glee on my face. So she didn't think I was a complete freak, I stated with a sly grin "Don't you love when that happens". Now she could have given me the whatever eye roll, but she just shook her head and said "yeah, but it sure doesn't happen enough". She totally got where I was coming from...that was cool.
Speaking of the Across the Universe soundtrack ~ it is awesome. I am really digging it. While I like the Beatles, I've never been a die hard fan but I had seen a commercial and had really liked one of the guys voices. That's what prompted me to purchase it. I really love it. The songs are definitely great interpretations of these old classics. This CD would have been worth the $13.99
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Last week I auditioned for the ensemble. I was nervous but I decided to go for it. I think more than making it or not I put myself to the "you have to do this to prove to yourself that you can" mode. I was soooo nervous. The audition was in front of Gary, Lew, Joe and Bruce (and the two other people auditioning). I was the last to go and I could hear my voice shaking as I sang. The good thing is I stayed on pitch and it was all over in 5 minutes. I really left with a sense of satisfaction that no matter what happened I was glad I did it. A day later I got an e-mail from Gary extending an invitation to join them. Now the reality of having to do it has started to sink in, but I think it's going to be a great growth opportunity for me.
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Speaking of growth opportunities....we had a meeting after our church service this week for the New Orleans mission trip. I saw the cast of characters going....Lord give me faith. I'm definitely the youngest by at least 15 years. I don't necessarily mind that but they were all like a bunch of hens...picking and chirping about this and that with one thousand questions for the organizers and not a desire to actually stop talking to listen for an answer. I went to a safe place and realized that I do have faith for as I sat there I thought "what lesson do you want me to learn from this experience Lord??"
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I received an e-mail from Classmates.com the other day. I had updated my information on it but did not join so randomly they will say that someone signed your "guestbook" but they usually don't let you see the message. For some reason I was able to see this one and it was from Ruthie. I grew up with her and she sent a note saying she had been trying to get in touch with me for years and she gave me her e-mail address. Now there is a subset of individuals that I grew up with that were also "outcasts" from the normies at school. Ruthie lived down the street from me and she was year or so younger than me. Because we were in the same hood there was a group of us who were friends. Ruthie was a real trip. She was always really heavy and well definitely belonged in Port Chester with the "greasers" and not Rye with the "preps" that's for sure. Ruthie ended up marrying some Mexican guy and having three kids, and that was all before she was 20 ~ for real. Anyway, she was a good girl with a heart of gold and truth be told, I was probably embarrassed somewhat to be friends with her when we were younger. Not proud to say it, but it's the truth. So now I have the ability to re-establish contact with her...hmmm what is one to do? I haven't e-mailed her yet, I feel like that is another lifetime ago. I'll have to sit with that one for a few more days to see what I'm going to do.
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Last night I sang with the ensemble at the FOG (fellowship of older gays) gathering down at shelter island. It went well and they seemed to like us, so that was good. It was definitely my first real exposure to the dynamics of the ensemble....I think the Lord is trying to teach me a number of lessons right now :)
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Spent a great day with Finola on Sunday. It was good to catch up with her. I feel like we hadn't spent a lot of time together lately. Schedules have just been crazy. I love that I can talk with her about anything from politics to poop...and it's amazing that those two topics can be closer than one would think :) I will be very sad if she moves back to NY. At this point it sounds like it is more a matter of when then if, so that will take some adjustment. It will feel like losing family ~ well closer than some of my family actually.
Okay, I'm signing off now. That was enough of a brain dump for now. I'm not even reading it over, so please forgive if there are typos, fragments or any other signs that I'm a dumb ass :)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Some like it hot....
but not me!! Okay, I'm not one to normally complain about the heat, but it is hotter than hell in our house. I've felt like one of those overheating dogs with their tongues hanging out all weekend. Even the flies are being affected by the heat. I felt like Mr. Miyagi today, a fly buzzed by and I swatted it out of the air, then another went by and I got him also. It's one of those things that you try to do, but you're grossed out if you actually get them.
It's going to be impossible to sleep tonight. I knew I should have gone out and hooked up with someone who has AC....just teasing.
Well, it was a nice weekend though, that's for sure. The great thing is tomorrow is Tuesday so we'll be rolling into the week already.
I wrapped up my stay at MT and Tim's house last night. It's funny because during the first few days I was thinking this place is very ostentatious and was being a bit judgmental and by day three, I'm like...yeah I can get used to this.
It was nice having Munro as a companion for the week. He's a cute dog and pretty low maintenance so that was cool. It's funny because he is totally not the dog you want around when you are reading a scary book and you hear the stairs creaking. Each night as I read Dracula in bed I would get a bit freaked out when I would hear strange noises. As I looked to Munro for comfort or support he was totally oblivious and just sat their licking himself. Having a deaf guard dog is not the way to go, that's for sure.
I was pretty much a slug all weekend. It was so hot that I would get exhausted just watching the US Open on TV. I'm hoping Venus can pull off another victory.
Okay, I'm going to try and go to bed now....let's hope I'm not up in an hour posting another blog because I can't sleep....
It's going to be impossible to sleep tonight. I knew I should have gone out and hooked up with someone who has AC....just teasing.
Well, it was a nice weekend though, that's for sure. The great thing is tomorrow is Tuesday so we'll be rolling into the week already.
I wrapped up my stay at MT and Tim's house last night. It's funny because during the first few days I was thinking this place is very ostentatious and was being a bit judgmental and by day three, I'm like...yeah I can get used to this.
It was nice having Munro as a companion for the week. He's a cute dog and pretty low maintenance so that was cool. It's funny because he is totally not the dog you want around when you are reading a scary book and you hear the stairs creaking. Each night as I read Dracula in bed I would get a bit freaked out when I would hear strange noises. As I looked to Munro for comfort or support he was totally oblivious and just sat their licking himself. Having a deaf guard dog is not the way to go, that's for sure.
I was pretty much a slug all weekend. It was so hot that I would get exhausted just watching the US Open on TV. I'm hoping Venus can pull off another victory.
Okay, I'm going to try and go to bed now....let's hope I'm not up in an hour posting another blog because I can't sleep....
Thursday, August 23, 2007
A picture is worth a thousand memories....
Last night I received an e-mail from Adrienne. She sent out a video to a group of friends and family members of her new condo. She did a walk through showing everyone her new place now that it has been repainted and decorated. I must admit she did a great job with the walk through, giving a great virtual tour of her new digs (she's got a steady hand for sure. The video wasn't jumpy at all).
It was interesting to see the place with all of her belongings. I recognized a piece of furniture here and there but what struck me most were paintings on the walla. Three of them brought back strong memories for I had brought them into our home. It was an interesting tie back to the past and as I looked at the items I realized they really were a representation of me or at least represented a lot to me.
The first was a painting of a terrace in what would look like Greece or a tropical local. The point of view for the picture is through the archway of a red door that is opening onto the terrace with a view of the ocean in the distance. I remember liking something about the photo but at the time I didn't realize that I had a thing for archways and doorways. As I think of subsequent photos I took (specifically in Mexico and Italy) I realize that I have a fascination with those types of views and structures. There is something fascinating both artistically and philosophically ~ what do open doors and windows represent? I guess depending on who is looking at it or when I am looking at it, the view can be seen as a door closing vs. opening.
The second picture was of a large poster/photo in a black frame of a deserted tropical isle with a big palm tree in the forefront. The water is crystal blue and the sand looks like powdered sugar. I remember that scene as being extremely tranquil and I had it hanging in the bedroom (it's in her bedroom in the new place as well).
The third wall covering is a huge photo of NY City at night. It's really cool. It covers three quarters of a wall, that's how big it is. If you look up close there are some florescent paints over windows and such. The photo used to hang in a local bar in NY. It had a black light over it and when lit the photo looked like the skyline at night. It was way cool in a totally 80s kind of way. It still looks cool without the black light effect.
I had loved the picture and when my brother in law was courting my sister he saved it from the bar that they were tearing down and gave it to her to give to me. He scored major points with both of us for that. I had completely forgotten about that picture and was definitely flooded with memories when I saw it on the video.
It makes me wonder how many memories Adrienne has attached to these pictures. I'm sure they had a bigger effect on me because I am seeing them for the first time in forever, but does she also hold on to these pictures for more reasons than just meet the eye?
It's fascinating to me how ordinary objects and pictures can carry so many memories, feelings, and stories with them and how we surround ourselves with the history that these items keep stored for us.
It was interesting to see the place with all of her belongings. I recognized a piece of furniture here and there but what struck me most were paintings on the walla. Three of them brought back strong memories for I had brought them into our home. It was an interesting tie back to the past and as I looked at the items I realized they really were a representation of me or at least represented a lot to me.
The first was a painting of a terrace in what would look like Greece or a tropical local. The point of view for the picture is through the archway of a red door that is opening onto the terrace with a view of the ocean in the distance. I remember liking something about the photo but at the time I didn't realize that I had a thing for archways and doorways. As I think of subsequent photos I took (specifically in Mexico and Italy) I realize that I have a fascination with those types of views and structures. There is something fascinating both artistically and philosophically ~ what do open doors and windows represent? I guess depending on who is looking at it or when I am looking at it, the view can be seen as a door closing vs. opening.
The second picture was of a large poster/photo in a black frame of a deserted tropical isle with a big palm tree in the forefront. The water is crystal blue and the sand looks like powdered sugar. I remember that scene as being extremely tranquil and I had it hanging in the bedroom (it's in her bedroom in the new place as well).
The third wall covering is a huge photo of NY City at night. It's really cool. It covers three quarters of a wall, that's how big it is. If you look up close there are some florescent paints over windows and such. The photo used to hang in a local bar in NY. It had a black light over it and when lit the photo looked like the skyline at night. It was way cool in a totally 80s kind of way. It still looks cool without the black light effect.
I had loved the picture and when my brother in law was courting my sister he saved it from the bar that they were tearing down and gave it to her to give to me. He scored major points with both of us for that. I had completely forgotten about that picture and was definitely flooded with memories when I saw it on the video.
It makes me wonder how many memories Adrienne has attached to these pictures. I'm sure they had a bigger effect on me because I am seeing them for the first time in forever, but does she also hold on to these pictures for more reasons than just meet the eye?
It's fascinating to me how ordinary objects and pictures can carry so many memories, feelings, and stories with them and how we surround ourselves with the history that these items keep stored for us.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
From Sex...To Drugs...next, Rock 'n Roll....
I just need to say, "God bless the DVD player". I put away my last black mourning outfit (out of respect to Sex and the City) and I've moved on to my next series...WEEDS!! Another quality show and I'm so glad that season 2 just came out on DVD. I've started to watch season 1 again so that I can refresh my memory. It's great to have some quality TV to watch if I'm in the mood for mindless entertainment. I can't take live TV anymore. To start, there is nothing on, and when there is something, it's a tabloid show talking about Lindsay, Paris, Nicole....and any other tragic starlet who is having a bad week.I was in the kitchen last night and the TV was on in the background. It was ET or Extra or one of those shows and they talked incessantly about inconsequential Hollywood things. That was taxing, but then that show ended and the next started and it covered all of the same information just repackaged with a new host and spin on the story. I literally had to stop what I was doing and go turn off the TV. The noise of continuous talking without saying anything was driving me crazy. Literally!! I'm scared about what is happening to our culture, we are just bombarded constantly with such junk ~ and the scary thing is we are becoming immune to it.
So anyway, all that to say that I am very happy to have Weeds to watch if I need a TV fix. It's funny because I went to purchase season 2 a few weeks ago and it wasn't on sale at Target, so when Daniel called to ask if I needed anything at Walmart, I asked him to check and see if it was on sale there. When he got home he informed me that they don't sell that show at Walmart. That just cracks me up. They won't sell a TV series that has drugs involved in it, yet they'll sell as many firearms as you would like. Gotta love it!! I could almost understand if they were completely against everything...porn, alcohol, drugs, weapons, and all those "anti-Christian" items, but when they start to pick and choose, it becomes hypocritical to me. So I have to say, no more Wal-mart for me (or for Daniel, sorry Daniel). I will have to purchase my firearms elsewhere. I should have asked Daniel if they were having a sale on the "Save our Kids" t-shirts :o
Okay, i feel like I'm on a total rant here...who's next....hmmmm...just teasing. I'm actually in a good mood today. It started when I went to he gym this morning. I finished my run on the treadmill and just felt really good. Some mornings it can be exhausting, but this morning it was invigorating.
After that I decided to stop at 7-11 for coffee....on a side note, I always feel like I'm second class because truth be told, I would take a cup of 7-11 flavored coffee over Starbucks any day. When I went in to get my coffee I was very excited because they had blueberry flavor. Yes, it sounds horrible, but it is quite good. As I poured my cup I literally started laughing at myself and the fact that I was truly happy about the coffee selection. It made me realize that it is the little things in life that can bring you joy. I mean, talk about low standards, a cup of flavored coffee was all I needed to start my day off on the right note....I guess they came up with slogan "oh thank Heaven for 7-11" for a reason :)
Monday, August 20, 2007
I want some Sex....
and the City that is :( I finished going through the series again, I must admit, I'm going to miss those girls. I even watched the extra bonus disc that included interviews, montages from the show, and various other tidbits of information.
I have to say, I love everything about this show. It is so well crafted in every aspect. The acting, writing, character development ~ it has everything.
I would have to say the only other comedy that I remember feeling such affinity for was The Mary Tyler Moore show. It makes me realize what a special thing it is when all the right elements line up to make a show a cultural phenomenon.
I'm sure Daniel will be glad to have a reprieve from the SATC theme music that played over and over between episodes. You may have a break for now, but just remember, my friends Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda will be coming to a theater near you very soon and that will be a BIG deal :)
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Double Feature....
It was a double feature weekend. On Saturday night I went out to dinner with Henry, Troy and Norman. It was great to see Henry. It's funny, the last two times I've seen him it's been in Italy, we're so cosmopolitan :)We went to dinner at a French Restaurant in Kensington. We thought we were going to the Green Tomato....but apparently it has ripened and has been plucked from the vine. We had a good meal and then we went to see Cut Sleeve Boys at the Ken. I really enjoy that movie theater. It's definitely has an old school movie theater motif....and it's cheap so that is always a plus. Cut Sleeve Boys was a crazy movie. It a low budget film with Asian style humor (per Norman and Henry) and it was set in London with British slang and mannerisms as well. It was a bit crazy, but quite enjoyable actually. The one guy dressed up as a self described "tranny" and he looked really pretty as a woman. Norman said he looked like Kristy Yamagucci as a woman (which I agree with). To even try to explain the plot wouldn't translate well but it was enjoyable to say the least.
Today was a busy day. I picked Ralph up and brought him to church since he can't drive. The service was really good ~ although we had to leave a bit early because Ralph wasn't feeling well. After church I went to brunch with Henry, Norman and Mito. We went to Baja Bettys. Cute waiter and decent meal. Actually that is a dangerous bar because with the lighting everyone had an angelic "is he really hot?" glow. With a few margaritas that could spell trouble...
After lunch we went to see Invasion at Fashion Valley. Overall I thought it was a good movie. It was perfect entertainment for a hot summer day when you are trying to escape the heat and reality. Nicole Kidman did a good job in it and the guy who played her husband was cute. As we were leaving, I heard someone say that it was totally unnecessary. I'm assuming they meant because it was a re-interpretation of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". In a way I can understand the comment. The 1978 version was really good (and to be fair, that was also a remake). Did this one add anything to the franchise?, not really, but it was still entertaining and it updated the story a bit. It's a tough call, when a movie is really good there almost isn't a need to remake it. You could watch the 1978 version again today and still be enthralled.
After the movie, Mito left to sin...I mean go to church :) and Norman dropped me off at home. I went over to MT and Tim's house so they could give me the instructions about watching the dog and house next week. I should really get to work at reading that manual ;) They also had a friend named Nathaniel over. He was really cute and really nice (and really straight). We chatted for a bit and had some dinner. Tim walked me through all the steps of feeding the dog and turning on the TV ~ and then I took Monroe for a test walk. I told Tim that I would pass on the opportunity to pick up Monroe's poop until I was actually watching him.
I had a really relaxing weekend, and it felt nice and long. It was just the right combination of plans with friends and down time (although it would have been better if my roommate had been here to share in the good times ~ figured I would throw that out there for you Daniel in case you are reading my blog while away :)
Well, I guess I better turn in for the evening.....although I'm afraid to go to sleep.....
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Surfs Up...
Spent a beautiful day at the beach. It was just what I needed. I packed a cooler, brought my book (Dracula), music, a book on meditation (which is very interesting), and the Fall Preview Edition of Entertainment Weekly magazine. Look out Coronado, I was ready for a relaxing day at the beach. Also, the parking Gods were good to me and I found a decent spot, what more could you ask for.
It was really hot so the water felt amazingly refreshing. At one point I came back from the water and I just sat there and savored how lucky I am to live in such an amazing place. I wanted to anchor that amazing feeling and really connect it with all 5 senses. I had the touch of the water on my body and the sand between my toes, the breathtaking site of the beach with a beautiful sailboat off the shore, the sound of laughter and idle chatter and the crashing of the waves, the taste of the salt water, and the smell of the ocean air. It was really cool to consciously take a few minutes and drink in all of those sensations. I stayed at the beach for a few hours and it was perfect, I love days like that.
I had a good Friday night as well. Michael Todd organized an outing to listen to a swing band at an outdoor concert at the Trolley Park in University Heights. We each brought something to share (including wine). Michael Todd brought Monroe with him also (his dog). It was very crowded but we set out blankets and staked our claim on a good area. Este and Scott were also there, which was nice because I haven't seen them in forever. I really like them. Este is one of those people who seems so naturally cool. She was wearing this really cute Audrey Hepburnesque sun dress with her pixie haircut and these over sized black sunglasses. She definitely has the Euro chic thing down (it helps that she's from Spain :) They had a friend named Amy with them and she was really fun as well. Ralph was also there. This was his first outing since the surgery. It was really good to see him. He looks good and says the operation was a success. He brought his Mother, sister and brother in law and his nephew and niece. MT also had some other friends stop by for a bit. We stayed for a few hours (we were among the last to leave, the concert having been over for at least an hour). It was a fun time with good food, friends and spirits.
It was about 9pm when we all headed our separate ways. I went over to Bourbon for a bit. It was early and so I thought I would check it out. It was pretty crowded and wasn't overrun with Lesbians so that was good. Of course I went over to buy my drink and visit with Tyler. He's such a cutie (and Mito, he is MINE! :) ) It's funny, he said something about me being lean and I said yeah but I'm scrappy and I put up my fists. He replied that he liked scrappy and acted as if he was going to box with me. I like that word scrappy.....but I digress.
I ran into Asiah and Erik Swanson and a few of their friends but that was about it. I also ran into this guy named Jack that I had met through Mark when I first moved out here. He approached me and we chatted, I wasn't sure if he would remember me. I always felt like I had a little unfinished business with him.
I had met him at a party with Mark. He was very friendly and I thought he was cute ~ he's probably Mark's age, so he's in his late 40s I would guess. Well nothing happened at the party but I must have mentioned that I worked at the Warner Brothers store in UTC because the next time I went into work, they said a gentleman had been in that morning asking about me and had left a card (greeting card, not business card). It was a sweet card and he asked me out and gave me his number in it. I was touched and thought it was sweet...and never called him!! That was a really weird time for me, I was definitely at an all time low and was just coming to terms with my sexuality and coming out. I totally panicked and so I never called. I always felt bad about that.
He actually mentioned it last night and I got my chance to say sorry and to let him know how sweet I had thought it was and that I thought it was very charming. He seemed happy to hear the effect the card had on me. I felt like I had brought closure to the situation and we had come full circle.
I chatted with him for a while. It turns out he is going through a pretty rough patch right now. He and his partner of 3 years broke up and there is a house involved. I don't know what else is going on but he definitely seemed a bit in turmoil. I felt like our roles were completely reversed from when I met him. It made me realize how much I've evolved over the last 8 years, not better than I was before, just a realization that I have grown in so many ways since this California adventure began.
It was really hot so the water felt amazingly refreshing. At one point I came back from the water and I just sat there and savored how lucky I am to live in such an amazing place. I wanted to anchor that amazing feeling and really connect it with all 5 senses. I had the touch of the water on my body and the sand between my toes, the breathtaking site of the beach with a beautiful sailboat off the shore, the sound of laughter and idle chatter and the crashing of the waves, the taste of the salt water, and the smell of the ocean air. It was really cool to consciously take a few minutes and drink in all of those sensations. I stayed at the beach for a few hours and it was perfect, I love days like that.
I had a good Friday night as well. Michael Todd organized an outing to listen to a swing band at an outdoor concert at the Trolley Park in University Heights. We each brought something to share (including wine). Michael Todd brought Monroe with him also (his dog). It was very crowded but we set out blankets and staked our claim on a good area. Este and Scott were also there, which was nice because I haven't seen them in forever. I really like them. Este is one of those people who seems so naturally cool. She was wearing this really cute Audrey Hepburnesque sun dress with her pixie haircut and these over sized black sunglasses. She definitely has the Euro chic thing down (it helps that she's from Spain :) They had a friend named Amy with them and she was really fun as well. Ralph was also there. This was his first outing since the surgery. It was really good to see him. He looks good and says the operation was a success. He brought his Mother, sister and brother in law and his nephew and niece. MT also had some other friends stop by for a bit. We stayed for a few hours (we were among the last to leave, the concert having been over for at least an hour). It was a fun time with good food, friends and spirits.
It was about 9pm when we all headed our separate ways. I went over to Bourbon for a bit. It was early and so I thought I would check it out. It was pretty crowded and wasn't overrun with Lesbians so that was good. Of course I went over to buy my drink and visit with Tyler. He's such a cutie (and Mito, he is MINE! :) ) It's funny, he said something about me being lean and I said yeah but I'm scrappy and I put up my fists. He replied that he liked scrappy and acted as if he was going to box with me. I like that word scrappy.....but I digress.
I ran into Asiah and Erik Swanson and a few of their friends but that was about it. I also ran into this guy named Jack that I had met through Mark when I first moved out here. He approached me and we chatted, I wasn't sure if he would remember me. I always felt like I had a little unfinished business with him.
I had met him at a party with Mark. He was very friendly and I thought he was cute ~ he's probably Mark's age, so he's in his late 40s I would guess. Well nothing happened at the party but I must have mentioned that I worked at the Warner Brothers store in UTC because the next time I went into work, they said a gentleman had been in that morning asking about me and had left a card (greeting card, not business card). It was a sweet card and he asked me out and gave me his number in it. I was touched and thought it was sweet...and never called him!! That was a really weird time for me, I was definitely at an all time low and was just coming to terms with my sexuality and coming out. I totally panicked and so I never called. I always felt bad about that.
He actually mentioned it last night and I got my chance to say sorry and to let him know how sweet I had thought it was and that I thought it was very charming. He seemed happy to hear the effect the card had on me. I felt like I had brought closure to the situation and we had come full circle.
I chatted with him for a while. It turns out he is going through a pretty rough patch right now. He and his partner of 3 years broke up and there is a house involved. I don't know what else is going on but he definitely seemed a bit in turmoil. I felt like our roles were completely reversed from when I met him. It made me realize how much I've evolved over the last 8 years, not better than I was before, just a realization that I have grown in so many ways since this California adventure began.
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